Antagonized Beyond Words

The weeks fly by too quickly is my take and now it is
Thursday, into June 2019!

2019 is at its halfway mark. Seems like yesterday, I was
doing countdown to usher in 2019 and in the wink of an eye, Summer is upon
those in USA, UK, Europe and parts of Asia whilst those in Africas, New Zealand
and Australia are into wintry months.

I had an exhaustive day yesterday, trying to resolve
issues for my parents and really blew my lid when my sister brushed me aside
with her grand speech of “you don’t live with them, what is your worry” when I
said that I needed help to manage some of our parents issues and that I was
facing caregiver burnt out syndrome.

My siblings are not the most “sensitive” of folks and
neither are they the most “compassionate” of folks. My sister’s philosophy is
not to be bothered with my parents. She does not understand that with each call
I get from my parents at night or at work causes my heart to miss a beat or
pound harder.

Calling me is never good news – it could be a fall,
illness or issues that needed my attention.

At night, I sleep with one ear open as I am Speedy
Gonzales on call, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

When my father last required brain surgery some years
back, my sister was nowhere to be found. She had promised me she would see her
father before surgery but she decided to take a detour for a holiday before
presenting self to a sick man.

Hospital procedures cannot wait and I had to proceed with
surgery for dad. Had my dad passed on then, it would have been too bad for my
sis then.

Just last Wednesday, Mum called me at work to say dad is
missing. My heart dropped as it means I have to start hunting for him. But I
felt his dementia is not at that stage. Turns out that mum is so hard of
hearing that she did not realise that dad is indeed in the house.

My siblings do not have an ounce of urgency for when
their parents are concerned in terms of ill health or family emergencies.

What I do know is the me, myself and I will be the only
reactor.

So, I blew my lid when I was brushed aside by my sis on
the phone with her caustic remark implying what is the big deal for me “since I
do not live with them”

I am tired. I am exhausted. I continue to do the bidding of my parents, regardless of time or day. They pretty tell me each time, ” you decide and get it done!”

No one understands me and worst of all, MR EX decided to
start his nonsense again and of course like they say in asia, “eruption of
Mount Krakatua” and molten lava flowed……

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