Day 175

June 6, 2019

Nothing like being woken up at 4am by your husband questioning a charge to his card from Amazon. He’d received an alert and it’s probably a good thing because I’d forgotten to weed through our order and kill the things we didn’t need. I set a reminder for next month because of course they shipped the things I DON’T need first- like thieves oil and a probiotic I’m still on the fence about.

Anyway, I appreciated the chance in session to go back through the week and say the things we appreciated about one another and point out the positives this week. I also got confirmation that DLH knows me better then he is letting on. The ep of Friends that sent me into a tail spin was very close to home for us with regard to him not letting his ex-girlfriends/fiancées go. Also, he did mention that he tried to get rid of things before I came to clean out the other women’s things but obviously failed. I’m not sure I believe this but it was good to communicate how that made me feel and have him address it. The counselor seems to be very hopeful for us- I’m not sure what she thought she was going to get when I called for the appointment… but her hope is giving me hope. She also cried when she affirmed my desire to care for the baby and mentioned her discovery of the role of the father to provide and protect mother and child for the wellbeing of the little one. I appreciated her affirmation of him in his role and clarification that he isn’t just an appendage after impregnating me.

My brother is coming soon to go on a “run” with me which feels like a joke. I’m going to try and push through and at least do .75. Hopefully I’ll be able to do a mile. I think being stressed about it ahead of time is what trips me up. I want to do this as long as I can just in case they announce that I won’t be able to any longer b/c of the blood pressure issue. Maybe I’ll try her deep breathing exercise before we head out. That was so calming- how quickly we forget to apply what we teach others…

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