I’d say the hardest part of anything is beginning. I’m sure many others would share that same idea. So, I guess this would be no different.
I’d say this blog thingy is more so for me, than anyone else. But, at the same time, I always wonder how many other people are going through the exact same thing as me, but just don’t know it. Not that my life is anything amazing or worth highlighting – I just needed something to help put down into words… everything. And maybe someone, somewhere out there may have an opinion in the matter and can help? Or, perhaps I may be able to help them.
Well, the basics. My name is Nelia, right now I’m 29. I’m a halfsie (black/white) and I’m Pentecostal*. I’m a single mom, I’m working on completing my BA in English Language and Literature (and yes, I’m aware my grammar is atrocious – why do you think I’m still in school?) and I work full time as a medical secretary for a Rheumatologist.
The summary I gave before I started this is the exact guidelines for this blog. As a single mother, relationships are one of the most important factors in my life. My relationship with God, my parents, my sister, my friends, my church family; the list is long. I realized from day one that I could not raise this little boy alone. It isn’t very common for someone of my faith to be unmarried and have kids, but every decision has its set of repercussions and this one is no different. This is one aspect of why I wanted to do this. I’m sure I’m not the only Penny (short for Pentecostal) out there who was unmarried and had a baby. And yes, I’m vitally aware that there is nothing wrong with being unwed and having kids, blah blah blah. I know not everyone has the same views on life as I do. But, these are my views, and the views of many others, so just bare with us.
One of the other guidelines was ethnic hair care. Now, this is a huge, huge deal to me. The topic of “hair” is a big one as a Penny. Also, as a halfsie, I’ve noticed there is a smaller number of women to pool wisdom from on this topic. My Caucasian mother has long beautiful hair and my African-American father’s family doesn’t have such great hair. You’d imagine what side of the family my hair comes from. >.< I’ve recently decided that I want my hair to be strong and healthy and I’m going to find the recipe for my hair success. I’ve lived with damaged, course, fragile hair for 29 years and I have to figure out the secret to unlocking the boss level that I know exists.
And, finally, the most important guideline would be the raising of the tiny humans. Right now, my son is 3 and still very much a toddler. I only have one kid, but my niece and nephew will be mentioned quite often, and I really do consider them mine (as I’m sure my sister considers my son hers, too). As someone who never really wanted to have children, I find myself striving to be the absolute best mother I can be, and falling so terribly, terribly short of that goal. I have said it to many other mothers and it has been said to me, that we shouldn’t be so hard on ourselves, as we are all just figuring it out as we go. I do know that’s true and I really believe we shouldn’t be so unfair to ourselves. But, at the same time, it’s important to have a goal and a standard, otherwise we become apathetic and lazy. I can NOT fail at this. WE can not fail at this. These children? They are all that is left once we’re gone, and there is no plan B, only plan A. We must succeed or die trying.
So, I really hope my journey (and possible ramblings) helps someone along the way. And if I’m the only one who reads this, that’s still ok. Journaling is always a great form of therapy. ^.^
*Disclaimer – God/religion/my relationship to these two subjects is a big part of my life, so it will be discussed? But more so in how it affects my life and my decisions. Nothing will ever be said to intentionally hurt or offend anyone.