Loving the Beautiful Awful

Therefore, What God Has Joined Together, Let No One Separate ~ Mark 10:9 NIV

Every time I would hear or recall this verse, I would always add “until the divorce hearing” and then slightly chuckle to myself thinking that maybe God has this wrong. In fact, I was sure He had this one wrong. I’ve been married and divorced twice. I definitely know what I’m talking about. Right?

But God is far from wrong. Both of my marriages were meant to be. I believe both were gifts. I’ve had to take a very detailed personal inventory of myself these last few years. It’s always easy to point the finger and blame the other person but looking in the mirror is definitely more challenging. I am thankful that I’ve been able to look at what God has joined together and also my part in trying to tear it apart.

Everyone likes a happy ending. I definitely dream of a happily ever after. But I have something even better. I have assurance that no matter what the ending is, it was meant to be. So, as I wait in His grace, letting Him do the writing of my story, I count my blessings. I am thankful for the beautiful girls my husband and I had together. I am thankful that we can be in the same room for holiday gatherings and not feel uncomfortable. I am thankful, that despite our divorce we are still somewhat joined together by our children.

God is a God of restoration. What seems impossibly broken can be restored. My second husband and I are back together in a relationship. We have endured a multitude of hurdles. Hurdles that have forced me to look at myself. Be myself. Be real. This is something I have never been able to do in a relationship. Ever. My second husband has given me that gift and I am so thankful for that and for him.

And I will bring my people Israel back from exile. They will rebuild the ruined cities and live in them. They will plant vineyards and drink their wine; they will make gardens and eat their fruit. ~Amos 9:14 NIV

What appears to be a complete mess seems to always turn itself  into something beautiful. I’m learning to love the beautiful awful.

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