Wednesday Thoughts, Whammy Edition

My daughter…
was standing at the gas station counter and saw the Rhino male enhancement packages and asked me what it was.
I told her it was what our cat Vex does not need to get all our girls preggo.
Awkward, dudes. Put it behind the counter already. I’m hardly a prude but my child is relentless til she gets an explanation and this is something I’d just as soon not explain til she’s like…30. J/k, but like 14 or something.
I found brief clips of Beakman’s World on youtube.
Yay. Science made less boring is a good thing if I am expected to learn.
Yes, I suppose…
I have arrested development what with my love of Furbies and Beakman and the Press Your Luck whammy. It does not keep me being a mature responsible mom.
I moved on…
to a former FBI agent explaining how to read body language. Fabulous, now I will be analzying my own every move as suspicious and dishonest.
I’m neurotic as fuck, man.
Funny as hell….
A guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine. Everybody sitting around the bar looks at him.

The bartender says, “You ain’t from around here, are ya? Where ya from, boy?”

The guy says, “I’m from Iowa.”

The bartender asks, “What the heck you do in Iowa?”

The guy responds, “I’m a taxidermist.”

The bartender asks, “A taxidermist? Now just what the heck is a taxidermist?”

The guy says nervously, “I mount animals.”

The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar, “It’s okay boys, he’s one of us!”
lame but cutesy
Virginia: When was your son born?

Beverly: In March. He came on the first of the month.

Virginia: Is that why you call him Bill?
ball gags and larceny…

It’s bizarre news time.
Reality Bites…
Dad in prenup: “Child support gets cut off if my kids join the military.”
Amazing what people will overlook to serve their own poltical agendas. Hypocrite Nation.
Speaking of the crazies…
A woman stabbed the baby Trump blimp in UK in the ass to defend his honor.
Shame since they did crowd fundraising to make that blimp and fought tooth and nail for th right to fly it. It’s about the funniest thing out of Britain since Red Dwarf.
Use Twitter for good, not petulant brattiness…
That an adult needs to hear this is just sad. What a stone cold loser.
1 week….

I am getting jazzed for Press Your Luck reboot. Can’t wait to see those Whammies. Just hope the channel is coming in, our digital antenna is usually decent but a change in the weather can fuck up viewing plans by taking out the channel.

Not a big selfie junkie…but this one I like because I totally look like a demon from Supernatural.

And for those who think I am a scam artist, I would like to share a reader comment from my mental health blog and she has followed me for awhile now so it’s her take on our situation, not mine.

Psychological Quicksand

a dayLavender and Levity
Hugs. People don’t get that when living in poverty, life is a razor’s edge. For lack of a tank of gas, you can lose a job. One historical flaw and people stereotype forever. The state says “just pay this fee and fax it” to someone who’s electricity has been shut off, then wonders why they miss a deadline and lose foodstamps. And, everyone is assumed to be a crook on benefits, while real fraud rates are less than 2%. Meanwhile, big banks and corporations commit policy-sanctioned fraud and tax evasion. I remember how you got stuck in this situation, and it was because of a shady landlord in the beginning, amd his likely scammy rental schemes. I don’t really have a solution given Armpit’s lack of resources other than try and contact nonprofits in bigger cities that can sometimes help deal with prior mania-induced checkered employment and try and survive until you can get Section 8 in a bigger city…but I also know those wait lists are years long. Your situation is kind if the perfect shitstorm of an example of all the ways “bootstrap” America is a myth, especially for rural America. I don’t have easy answers. I will say, though, that that comment says more about that person’s ignorance and bias than about you. Your story is, sadly, all too common in America today.

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