Absence-Partially groomed

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I find myself partially groomed, I don’t know what to do.

If only I could observe his ways; how he greets people or how he keeps fit or even how he dresses. Its not too much to ask Man. Really, its not.

Even so, its becoming so popular in our society that we are absent as Men. Absent in our communication. In our emotions. Our involvement.

Our willingness to run our race bravely seems to fade away with time and experience. We see stuff, feel stuff, listen to stuff… it goes on. What is happening to us men that we’re perceived as biengs who are not in control of their actions.

I find myself partially groomed, I don’t know what to do.

We leave our kids. We leave our Wives, girlfriends. We leave behind our destinies. Its so sad to see a child grow up under a single Mothers care. Its incomplete. No matter how much women try…

…its not enough and I’m sorry to say that.

I long to observe his ways. In a world where what you don’t say also matters, maybe he could tell me what and what not to say around women.

I could’ve seen how he gifts my Mother presents on occasions, does he even do it occasionally? Maybe he’s the type that buys whenever he’s seen something beautiful, like her.

How come other guys don’t shake their weenies after peeing. Why does mine look funny? I needed him to tell me go get circumcised, Son.

Ukhuphi? Asazi…

Its the small things like his love for football on a Saturday afternoon or seeing him enjoy his favourite meal. It could become my favourite meal too. I’ve already taken his club! Proud Kaizer Chiefs fan.

Its the small things man… things the women can’t do. I’m not in anyway putting shame to the women. I’m really just sympathizing with you. I too want what’s best for the boy child.

I find myself angry at my Father. He missed all the important moments. He missed the opportunity to do what he could for me, everything that would’ve made him more of a man beyond what’s obvious, what’s sticking out.

Every step he didn’t take was taken by my Mother. She did it till she went to her death bed. Women are Phenomenal.

I’ve since learnt to surround myself with people I can talk to, people I can learn from. This is a response to the absence. Thanks, but I will not be like you.

On the journey to being a better man, here’s what I’ve seen…

[To be continued]

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